I used to be a people pleaser.
The one who always say yes, be there and never missed anything.
The one who always made her space and time for anyone who ask, maybe or maybe not need it.
The one who always be the one who laugh, and made the moods.
The one who trying too hard keeping people happy.
But these all, became my own boomerang. I did every best thing i could to people, in a wishful expectation that i could get these all back in return. I thought, if always take care all of them, if i always remember them, if i always make them feel comfortable, they would do the same. But i’m wrong.
In the end people are selfish; not a bad things if you read this till the end. Not to mention that i am myself. all that we could care is our own selves. and as i learn, i am now putting my self first, too. The way that finally give me a huge amount peace of mind.
I start saying no, for about a year earlier. For everything that no longer nourish my soul and opt for something better, in essence for works that didn’t met my needs, and choose to invest more in my self on Eds.
Lately, i start saying no for some circles, for having a coffee, or hanging out as per an unclear agenda, or to catch up but threw at me on organized it all, to those who asks but threw it all on you. I am now prioritizing my self.
I no longer care what people feel about me —as long as i have done all my best—. I no longer making space for the time that i could use better instead of non-sense chatting of talking about people, or the past, or solvable probs but they just simply won’t solve it. I am for now, want to focus on my self, and surround my self with people that can nourish my soul with a new perspective, or for any advices that will be useful for my life, or any good and useful transferable talk so i could share it to more people.
The more we get older, the less friends we have. As now i choose wisely with whom i want my self surrounded to, and trying to say no on the first place till three times i end up saying yes if i could change my mind on how could it be good for me, let say i evaluate it first.
Sometimes, not all of the people will good on these. Some people also would not understand this. On how we want to put ourselves too. On we are no longer have time for some coffee or hanging out as we used to. And, sometimes its ok to let people go. As long as you know and fully understand that this is not cutting people off from your life. Let them go, let make a gap between you and people. It is the time for people to respect your time and your life. They will always be there if they understand this, and on the next time they need you, you should be there too.
and as now you have so much time, make the most out of it.